when everything fails to cheer,
and everyone feels like stranger,
that no matter how hard you try to be closer,
the difference just push you farther.
Sometimes you look back at the good old days,
of the days you spent fooling around,
learning, opposing and reasoning,
of the real word that is very exciting,
instead of the in-class boring learning,
where the bureaucracy forbids you from saying anything,
that if you says, you are rebelling.
Some days you create troubles purposely,
so that life would feel more risky,
and that the risks taken could redeem your lost dignity,
and that the risks taken could redeem your lost dignity,
every minor thing had been taken seriously,
just so the words you kept could be utter freely,
everyone said you are being crazy,
of going against someone with proven credibility,
but you know that when dealing with such irresponsibility,
being silent would only bring back the misery,
the sadness of waking up from dream into reality,
the realization of "No, you could not be the fighter you want to be".
So you build the wall in your heart,
pushing away the feeling that feels so hard,
of burning away the passion that keeps haunting,
the passion that keeps you alive that you are now dying,
the vivid old dream that is now disappearing,
the dignified you that is now so clingy and devastating.
the old you that is now changing,
bringing the new you that could not stop apologizing,
as you are hurt too much to afford hurting,
anyone around, though they might keep thinking,
why you kept saying 'sorry' more than everything.
"Weird" you might be,
"odd" people might say,
but as troublesome as you could be,
you are not to hurt anyone in any way,
because you alone know how hard to be happy,
when you are living your life with ingenuity,
and only you know how hard to fit in perfectly,
when fact is you are born to stand out bravely,
so let it just be only you to stand all the misery,
you are sad but everyone around must be happy. :)
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