Faith or Feat?

Salam'alaik.

In Islam, to have faith in Allah SWT is not to just lets fate decides one's future. That is why, even the word "faith" and "fate" differs in meaning. In fact, Islam encourages its followers to be hardworking as long as one is not doing anything against the fundamental teaching of the religion itself. Muslims should know that Allah SWT is not to grant them prosperity without them working hard for it. This is written in the Koran (Malaysian write as Al-Quran);

Lesson - Allah SWT is not going to help you if you are not to help yourself

In the process of getting success, there would be two phases. One is the effort, while the other one is the result. 

Forgive my poor drawing,but trust me the road towards success is not as straight as the one above. 

In the phase of effort, is where the principle of today's motivation classes, books and videos applied, which is : you are limitless. To get what you want, never sets a limit on yourself because you are what you think. So, thinks big and never quit. Once you have decided what you want and who you want to be; that particular time once you have set your goal, there is no more turning back. You are going to get it and you are going to sacrifice more than your time for that. There gonna be tears and pains and you are going to endure them all. It is about having a very strong determination that even when people tell you to quit, you could not wait to prove them wrong. In this first phase, the important keys are; hard works, strong determination, and skills.

After this phase of effort, one is either to get or not to get what he first wants; that is called the "result". Sometimes one works so hard that he thought nothing could go wrong yet during the result, he still did not get what he wants. We grow up watching Donald Trumps in "The Apprentice", reading Steve Job's success story, admiring the genius of Facebook - Mark Zuckerberg so much that we forget, to fail is normal. What important is to learn from the failure and what is more important is to believe that something better is waiting for you to achieve after this. Just don't lose hope. In this phase, what important is to be rational. Whatever the result is, just accept it openhearted. After all, what happens, happens. You could not turn back the wheel of time. 

This two phases of effort and result are what make up the principle of Tawakkal in Islam. Tawakkal means leaving everything in Allah’s hands because of the wholehearted faith in Him after working hard for it. 

So, to those reading this blog if you are in the first phase, the phase of effort where you are now working hard to get what you wants, knows that ; 

Lesson - never give up

And to those who fail to get what you want despite working real hard for it, there might be a hidden blessing, just remember that ; 

Lesson - everything happens for a reason

To be a good Muslim is to have a strong faith. But to have faith is not to be defeated without fighting. Whatever you are doing, give it your best. :D 

Second Semester in UCSI

Salam'alaik

I am now enjoying my semester break back in my home town, Pendang, Kedah. Alhamdulillah, praise the Lord that I had been able to finish my second semester as a foundation student at UCSI University, Kuala Lumpur. So many things happened during the past semester that there were times I cried inside the bathroom, pondering whether I would be able to finish this journey of education or not.

First is when the only guy among the MARA's clique left us and went to further his study back in his home town, Sabah. It was a very depressing and sad fact for us to accept that our clique is getting smaller. Even more, it was hard for us to accept that we were to lose a very gentle and kind hearted friend. But, how could we hold the hand of someone who really wish to leave? How could we even bear to deny him, his right of happiness. How could we have the heart to tell him not to go chasing his own dream just because his presence means so much? After all, people come and go. It is the memory that remains, connecting the hearts. But, words could not expressed how sad I am during the day he left.

It is not the sight of you leaving.
It is the thought of not seeing you again,
that brings the tears to my heart

Next, I were given the chance by UCSI Scholars Club or U'Schos to participate in a charity event organized by Kechara Soup Kitchen. We went in a group of 20 to distribute food for homeless people in Kuala Lumpur. My team was stationed to deliver food to Ampang, Keramat and Wangsa Maju. Back to the briefing session, we were explained about reasons people being homeless in Malaysia. Some of them are old people thrown out of their house by their own children. Some are people with mental problems while others have chronic disease. Mr. Wong, the presenter that night is a very hostile and cheerful person. I learnt so many new things from him. One is Kechara's motto "Hunger Knows No Barriers". Exactly. Just like how universal food is, so is hunger. Could you imagine yourself surviving without no proper meals to eat every day when reality is, the middle and high class people in Malaysia are always at loss of words when it comes to dining places? We have so many food yet we also have so many people unable to afford even just one meal a day.

Be grateful of what you have now and help those around,
as for us, tomorrow might never come. 

 Right after my midterm examination ended, I went to another event. This time it was organized by UCSI Centre for Languages in conjuction with the U'Schos. There would be a visit from Hong Kong Japanese International School and I volunteered myself to be one of the facilitator. I were also given the chance to become an emcee, thanks to Yew Mun, Miss Van and Miss Margaret who insisted it on me.

We looked at each other like strangers during the first meeting,
yet after such a tiring day, we chatted and laughed and messed around
just like old best friends.

Two days after that, I were asked to represent Foundation's students for annual Centre of Pre-U meeting. I were given around 10 minutes to give a feedback on the result of Pre-U Department's on-line poll. I tried my best to explain everything and shared some of my opinions with all the lecturers after that. One of my suggestion is to make it compulsory for all students to first attend a lab report's writing seminar before asked to write one. I really think it is important because science students regardless of their major either medic, pharmacy or engineering would definitely be required to write lab reports during their foundation until degree. So, it is better to let us know the right way it should be done so that we could familiarize ourself with the right ways of quoting and referencing.

Other than the activities stated above, as one of the MARA students, I had also been given a chance to attend a 6-weeks English Enhancement Course which was a gratitude of UCSI itself. We learned so much about public speaking and presentation skills besides writing and reading.

The MARA and PENERAJU scholars

The subjects were all getting tougher and so was the final exam. I cried after the General Biology 2 paper. I know, some of you would be like " You crying?? Eww, stop lying" For sure, I am not saying that I cried and wept like crazy just because of exam. I am not that much of result - oriented student. I am just worried about my scholarship bond with MARA. After all, I have no where else to go and no other sponsors would take me if that happen. Speaking about studying, I am really not a type of person who could bear studying 24 hours non stop. I sleep 9 hours every day and I am very active on Facebook. Call me whatever you want to but I really do believe that experience is what makes you. That is why I tried so hard to volunteer myself in all activities possible, I am trying to build myself, to prepare myself for the future challenges.

During this second semester too, I could feel that the bondage between us, the MARA scholars is getting tighter. Especially with Presley leaving. We knows that no matter how hard it is for us to accept each other, to tolerate this huge gap of culture and way of socializing as each of use is from a very different background, it is only the four of us here. We only have us and no one else. I do not care if anyone of them read this but I do hope that if you did, just pretend that you read nothing. I really love every one in our group plus that one senior from PENERAJU who shared the house with us. I would write about them in the next post.

I am grateful that I learned so much in this semester. I am happy that I knew so many new people during the many activities I participated in. I am glad to be closer with the MARA girls and I am glad that I am alive until now to see the happiness around. My definition of happiness is easy, to see my friends happiness makes me happy and to hear their laugh really makes up my day. So, one chapter = DONE.

English in "Kampung" School

Salam'alaik and a very good day to my fellow readers. It is a very good day indeed for me because today would be my first day back in Kedah after 3 and a half months of studying and staying in Kuala Lumpur. Usually I would be travelling back to Kedah by flight, either Firefly or Malindo. However, this time I went back by bus from Hentian Duta to Pendang because the flight tickets are way too high-rocketed due to Christmas. 

Now, let us get back to my main point today. First, it is vital for us to understand why is English is that important for the non-native English speakers like us. Why is it so important to be able to converse in English in a country which national language is Bahasa Melayu especially when there are still some of us who could not even speak Bahasa Melayu properly even after 57 years of independence? Why must English been given that much of attention? Am I saying that without English, one could not survive? Trust me, I am not. 

Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong, Malaysian's billionaire could not speak English at first yet he is that successful. But, his story just like his existence, is one in a million. Just because one succeed doing so, it does not mean that the same formulae is applicable for everyone. Especially in the field of education and science where English is the main language used for interaction and  the sharing of knowledges. If we want to follow their steps and if we want to beat them, we must first be able to understand their language. 

Problem in Malaysia is there are some kind of people, blessed with a rich family, sent to international high schools, graduated from Oxford and Harvard, lead the life of young and sophisticated entrepreneurs and be at the peak of success due to their English fluency. This people come back to Malaysia and claim that it is important for the students throughout the whole country despite their family backgrounds to first be made to speak well in Bahasa Melayu before introducing them to English as to preserve our national language. Little that this people know, they see it in their eye that the use of Bahasa Melayu in daily life is suffering declination because they are the one who speak English 24 over 7 a day. They speak English with their Mom and their Dad. They dine in Western restaurants and they watch Fox TV everyday. 

And that does not happen in a house where the father is a rubber tapper and the mother is a home maker. That does not happen in a house where even Astro is too much of a luxury to afford. All that Western's way of life had never existed in a normal people's house. Or to be more honest, that is impossible to happen in a normal Malay house outside the urban area. And by the time those children staying in Kuala Lumpur, Penang and Johor Bahru see English as a normal thing, the children in Kampung Kubor Panjang, Kampung Kuala Lanjut, Kampung Charok Chelu see English like a green furry gigantic monster at ready to swallow you with its big mouth and sharp teeth ! Now, is this fair enough?

You get all the chances while we got none. You are already a step in front of us with all the gadgets and facilities you could afford to have. The question is, why must you make us go backward by abolishing PPSMI (the Use of English in the Teaching of Science and Mathematics)? You said that it is our choice to choose whether to use English or Bahasa Melayu as the language medium in the teaching at one's particular school. At the same time, that rich kids of yours went touring the country scaring parent about how English could fail their children in all subjects. 

And at the end, all village schools reverted back to Bahasa Melayu while those schools in the urban area, those international schools, those schools which used to be English High School back in the colonial area remain their teaching in English. By the time we go to university, you have no idea how disoriented we are. How left out we had been. And how emotionally despaired we are. You don't tell me at the comments below that I am making fake assumptions, that your children are comfortable with this change. I were the first batch of PPSMI's students back to my Standard 1 and I were the first to experience PPSMI's abolishment too back to my Form 4.

 Just how hard Biology is with all the difficult terms and terminologies? Now imagine learning all the basics in Bahasa Melayu and suddenly you are required to learn the advanced one in English. Just one, back to basic! And I am only doing Foundation in Science at private international university. What happen to those from village schools like me that went to study A-Level, the international examination which of course use English? 

My dear leaders, I am not that of genius thinker. I am not as clever as you are. I am not as educated as you are. I am not as blessed as you are. But, thanks to God that I had been able to live the life of a village student, I live a life you had never been through. A Malay family in a village would never speak English at home. You do not need to worry about our Bahasa Melayu proficiency, we are the one standing behind our culture, preserving the native's identity of ours while you are not. We are not asking for chance, we are asking for equality. And until then, the progress of this nation would not be that much. Thank you. 

Saya Anak Orang Miskin

Saya anak orang miskin, waktu kecil belajar membaca dengan buku Sejarah STPM tinggalan kakak sepupu Kak Na sebab tak banyak duit nak beli buku kanak - kanak yang cantik dan baru. Awal masuk darjah 1, satu - satunya perkataan bahasa Inggeris yang saya tahu ialah "thank you". Pertama kali dengar bahasa Inggeris waktu kelas darjah 1 sebab masa tadika selalu sembunyikan diri bawah meja guru. Masuk darjah 4, ayah dan mak mula rasa bahasa Inggeris tu penting lepas tengok Tun Mahathir bersungguh - sungguh laksanakan PPSMI. 

Daerah saya tak ada kedai buku. Nak beli buku kena ke Alor Setar, naik bas atau teksi sebab waktu tu tak ada kereta lagi. Jadi, ayah belikan saya novel - novel Inggeris secara pos dari Alaf21. Umur 10 tahun, saya belajar memalang wang pos dan menimbang surat untuk tahu harga setem. Kata ayah, kalau setem tak cukup, surat tak sampai. Darjah 5, makin banyak perkataan Inggeris yang saya tak tahu dan selalu saya hubungi Kak Jan untuk bertanyakan maksud. Kak Jan belikan saya kamus dwibahasa yang saya kongsi dengan abang. Masuk tingkatan 1, YB Suraya hadiahkan kamus baru yang saya masih guna sampai sekarang. 

Di sekolah menengah, guru - guru banyak bagi peluang. Dari tingkatan 1 hingga 3, Teacher Nora mengukuhkan asas bahasa Inggeris saya yang telah disemat oleh Teacher Azizah di sekolah rendah. 5 esei setiap minggu. Masuk menengah atas, Teacher Syarafina mengajar saya berbahas dan Teacher Khairunnisak pula melatih saya ber"public speaking". Setiap latihan saya dipantau Madam Siti Hajar. Syukur padaNya, berkat usaha mereka dan ibu bapa, bahasa Inggeris tak menjadi penghalang utama anak kampung macam saya. 

Namun tak semua orang seia dengan saya. Sebagai PK Pengawas Perempuan, saya jarang mengetuai bacaan ikrar. Kebiasaannya, saya cuma diberi peluang sewaktu perhimpunan Inggeris. Pernah sekali, sepupu pulang beritahu bapa saudara yang saya berlagak bercakap bahasa penjajah di pentas sekolah. Pernah juga seorang berjawatan terhormat memerli saya, "pandai berpidato. Reti cakap Inggeris sikit, dah lupa bahasa Melayu. Orang macam kamu ni, besar nanti jadi ahli politik penipu" 

Ya, tuan memang hebat. 
Tuan graduan SBP, saya ni cuma anak sekolah biasa. 
Bagi tuan, bahasa Inggeris sudah ibarat lingua franca. 
Bagi kami, bahasa Inggeris musuh utama. 
Tuan dah puas berbahasa Inggeris dengan loghat British di rumah. 
Saya ini, bahasa Melayu pun pekat dengan loghat Kedah. 


Kawan sekelas saya, ada yang berdialek Siam. Memang tuan hebat, tapi hebatkah tuan dengan menyekat kemajuan orang lain? Tak sedar dirikah saya ini hanya kerana status Facebook dalam Inggeris? Perasan hebatkah saya ini kalau berbual dalam bahasa Inggeris? Melayu saya bukan pada mulut. Baju kurung saya pakai setiap hari, jalan saya membongkok di depan orang yang saya hormati. Bersusun piala pidato diraja saya dalam almari. Melayu saya bukan Melayu tak sedar diri. Melayu ini sedang cuba membaiki diri. Melayu ini mencari peluang untuk menggapai mimpi. Melayu saya letaknya pada hati. Bukan asalnya saya dari usul yang hebat berdaulat, asalnya saya dari impian yang tidak mahu bangsa ini terus hidup berpapahkan tongkat. Diri ini sedegil ayah,ibarat daun keladi air dicurah. Namun jangan disekat anak - anak kampung yang lain dengan sikap anda yang suka mengutuk dan menjatuhkan. Ini satu amaran.

So, Your Friend is a Perfectionist ?

Salam'alaik.

I suck at making introduction so let us just get straight to the point. Who are the perfectionists actually? Well according to Oxford Dictionaries, perfectionist are people who refuse to accept any standard short of perfection. In other words, they want their life to be flawless.

Like in Malaysia's school this perfectionists are often those high ranked prefects strolling the corridors with their shiny blazers and leather shoes while most of the students would turn their heads as to catch the glimpse of that perfecto figure. But of course being a prefect alone won't make you a perfecto unless you are the top students with athletic body, fluent tongue, gentle way of speaking and good looking. And in the college or university life, this perfectionist usually drive cars and wear branded shirts to suit their handsome features, are active in sports and students' council yet still be able to get CGPA 4.00 in the exam.

Being part of the education system, of course I have known many perfectionists. And surprisingly, I like befriend with most of them but there are certain kind of this species that I don't like and whom I stayed away most of the time because believe in me, they are such a pain in the heart.

Ok, most you might be thinking that perhaps I dislike them for being arrogant or rude. You might be thinking of that devilish Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton melts my heart...<3) in Harry Potter series. No, this kind of perfectionists won't do such a thing as insulting a friend in the public, making fun of your body size, mocking the way you walk, or yelling angrily in a crowded place. No, they want to be seen as perfect and courtesy is part of a perfection.

And let's say that you got a tiny piece of that perfection such as being beautiful but not wealthy, having the brain but not the beauty or being a short - tempered athlete, the chance that this perfectionists would stick near you and pretended to be such a loyal and kind hearted friend is higher. But you know what? They are bad mouthing you at the back so that you wouldn't be above them. It is simple actually. This kind of perfectionists is the one I hated most. Like, God blessed you with so many gifts but why are you still being jealous with the small portion He gave to someone else. Life is not a race and not everyone could afford the Ferrari.

And if the case is that you really want to fight. Do it right in front of your competitor's face. Stop being a hypocrite. Because you know, being someone so gifted, people would consider it a bless to befriend you. They know that they have nothing compared to you that you could take advantage of. They told themselves that you would make a very good, loyal and non-perceiving friend because of this reason. And most of the time, you would get very loyal friends.

When searching for a friend, look at their heart not their face. Consider their willingness to help you not how sweet their mouth is. One might seem polite but beware of what they secretly think about you. And if your soul is like me, then you would be in a greater trouble. What kind of soul I am huh? Let me just quote you this so that you would understand how hard it is for me to refrain myself from helping a known backstabber

God help me...Why I couldn't refrain myself from showing affection and being caring to the wrong person.. It is killing me inside... I am not saying that I am that soft kind hearted person, I yell a lot and I throw tantrums to whoever I feel like too. But my cynicism is only applicable to those being rude right in front of my face. As for those softies, they are my soft-spots...  But I know, I need to change or else people would be stepping on my head again and again and again.

Eighteen and Old-ing !!!

Assalamualaikum and a very good day fellow readers. It had been more than a year that I have been stop blogging. Now that I'm having so much of free time during my sem break, lets start this all over again. Sem Break?? Yeah, I'm having my semester break right now after a short semester of 4 months at UCSI University.Some of you might stop scrolling for a while but I advise you not to start frowning about what the hell UCSI is. Is it in Malaysia or what, government or private institution, what am I doing in there and the list goes on....

UCSI stood for University College of Sedaya International and I am studying in the South Wing of the KL Campus which is located in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur. It is a private institution and I am there because I've got MARA scholarship. I did my foundation there and supposed to be furthering my degree in the field of pharmacy. There are 5 of us there, and we are staying in Angkasa Condominium, Taman Connaught which is about 15 minutes of walk from the campus.

As for those of you who might have not heard about UCSI, don't worry, me neither until I got the scholarship. In fact, I applied for Nottingham University in Semenyih. But, it seems that my luck is not there. And the first time I got the offer letter, it first appeared like "Tahniah, anda telah berjaya...", and I let out a yell of happiness until I saw the institution. I was like "where the hell is this, how come I've never heard of this.. Mom, I don't want to go there.. I asked for Nottingham.. I want Nottingham!!!" And then a week after that, I was officially a student of UCSI University..

It is funny though, how I ended up there, in an international university college with a small minority of Malay students. And the cafe had serve none of the Malay foods that we have to walk and get the food at the stalls outside which turns out to be very very very madly EXPENSIVE!!! You have no idea how I hate KL. The weird taste foods, the prices of the groceries which doubled the prices in Kedah, the taxi's fare, and everything... And the most troubling part is there is no Northern people in here. Which mean no one could accompany me "balik kampung" because those in Southern and Eastern states went back home by bus from "TTS" and Pudu while I need to wait at Hentian Duta. As not to complicate matters because I am all alone, I went back by flight. But the airport is quite far too that my cousin need to fetch me because the taxi drivers are all cheaters.. See how opportunists those in KL are... In Kedah, the taxi drivers even give discount for university students.

As for the next post, I would write about so many tips for my dearly juniors.. Just wait for it.. :D